How to talk to white people*

Abagond

Yes, a post that does not follow its own advice:

Since I am so bad at talking to White Americans I will, for the most part, simply list the opposite of what I do:

  1. Smile.
  2. Master small talk. I am terrible at this. Big time.
  3. Do not be yourself. You know, like what they seem to do.
  4. Keep your feelings to yourself. Mine make them uncomfortable.
  5. Do not point out the wrong in what they say – unless they will blame you for it later (“Why didn’t you tell me!?” )
  6. Never make it clear that you have more money or intelligence. They will hate you for it.
  7. Use the same kind of English as Ellen DeGeneres: accent, grammar, word choice, rhythm, volume, all of it, as close as you can get it. Because people who do not talk right have something wrong with them. Even…

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