My Review of SVU: Glasgowman’s Wrath (episode where girl helps her friend try to kill her little sister and they both get away with it)

Needless to say, the three girls were pathetic, miserable losers. 10-year-old Zoe is the perpetual punching bag of her 12-year-old sister, Mia, and her best friend, 13-year-old Perry. (i wouldn’t be surpised if they were hooking up ’cause the two girls’ lives basically revolve around each other). what kind of 10 year old keeps tagging along with her sister’s who’s an obvious bitch to her? the show starts with the two older girls scaring zoe when she’s asleep at perry’s house or apartment. does zoe have friends? if not, why doesn’t she just join some clubs and meet people? you don’t have to have friends to have plenty of positive social interaction. maybe just read, take strolls, bike around, watch tv, listen to music, ect.why didn’t the mom(s) of the sisters encourage the two to stay away from each other? ps based on a real story where girls goes into woods and stabs the one who ,somehow, manages to get a boyfriend.

next thing we know, Zoe’s found, nearly stabbed to death, by a birdwatcher who’s lost a marble. carisi had to explain to her that they are asking about what the man looked like after zoe’s found; not the bird. her femoral artery would’ve been pierced if the wound had gone two mm deeper. the birdwatcher descibed him as a turkey vulture and told him to shoo. seriously? doesn’t this lady know anything? umm….if he had been the killer, would go after me like he did the little girl? hmm…makes me wonder. i did see him acting so weird around a bleeding girl who may actually be dead. heaven or hell? purgatory? or somewhere great beyond?

zoe wakes up and remembers a lot. this is tv. zoe tells the detectives, amaro and rollins, that her sister and her best friend are missing. they were sleeping over at her sister’s best (and only) friend’s house. it turns out that mia and perry have been planning this for quite some time. they lied to each other’s parents about who they were have a sleepover with. also, zoe is 10, but she seriously believed that they were looking for a creature that is powerful enough to let them live in his dimension and they dont have to follow any rules? the is a lame get rich quick scheme. what kind of 10 year old falls for that? most 10 year olds already know the truth about…santa claus, the easter bunny, ect. why would she trust her sister who treats her like crap? why does mia feel so little affection towards her sister? what the fuck is wrong with her mother? is the other lady her mother’s girlfriend? it was never established in the episode. if she’s lesbian, then there’s a higher chance that mia is, as well.

the detectives attempt to locate the other girls. zoe’s phone is found at the bottom of perry’s hamster’s cage. mia’s and perry’s are there, too. why would they put them there? what if the hamster poops on there? they ditched the phones because they didn’t want them to be found but aren’t there plenty of other hiding places.

benson finds out from zoe about them trying to find big foot-bill gates-god. just pointing out that he’s rich and not suggesting that bill gates is involved in something like this in real life. seriously. while they cant find perry or mia, they find a crazy caveman. this man doesn’t take his meds and is mentally ill. the gov is actually watching this guy. he came out screaming and was tased by an untrained cadet. (real cops gone somewhere; i forgot.) carisi stops it. this man believes that cells will kill him and the gov uses them to track him down.

at the police station, carisi talks to him and gets him to trust him (magically quick or he’s desparate for some company? maybe svu should try to make the timeline a little bit more realistic) guy’s name is charlie. charlie says that he found zoe bleeding and wanted to try to get her help. his eyepatch covers one eye and he has carisi adjust it by putting it over the other eye when he goes in to the sunshine and when he goes into his little cave (it’s so small…er i mean cozy) to retrieve the surviellence device left there by the government. presumedly, the federal gov, the un, ect. it was the camera of the girls. rollins find a bloody knife. evidence is pointing towards him being the stabber.

charlie explains about the knife. the detectives watch the footage and zoe confesses about what they were doing during their scary fun time. apparently, zoe believed that they’ll find a gateway in the woods in the dark where they will find the Glasgowman, who will invite them into his mansion where there’s no rules and no school. and people with glasses are supposed to be smart! turns out the babysitter of perry told them the story. perry’s mommy has a hard time finding a babysitter. what kind of 12 year old needs a babysitter? she just turned 13. this is a made-up character by perry’s babysitter, leslie, who was convinced that the girls knew it was a story. well, 2 of them did. leslie was doing a graphic novel where the three girls were covered in blood. um…why are all the people in this story crazy? the police threatens to tear his place apart ’til they find what they’re looking for. leslie surrenders the location of the gateway. 2 of his clients could be missing and/or dead, yet he doesn’t help the police? yeah, he’s not going to be babysitting anytime soon.

when the cops arrive, rollins spots a dead cat. it was stabbed in the heart. perry’s arm was stabbed and mia was tied up. both girls were dehydrated. their story doesnt match up. perry said she was fighting him off, but no bruises. plus, her wounds were too fresh for her timeline. and the dead cat. yeah, the police jumped to the obvious conclusion: the two girls did it. perry only stabbed herself to pass herself off as crazy, so she wouldn’t get in trouble.

the girls are interviewed separately for obvious reasons. mia claims that perry’s crazy and they only wen tinto the woods to scare zoe by abandoning her for a little while. she claimed that perry just grabbed a rock to knock zoe out, stab her several times, and put a knife over mia’s throat. she made her cover up her little sister. the police don’t buy it; they acted sane and tried to pin the blame on the crazy guy up until the moment when they realize that the police is on the them. they must watch a lot of cop shows and didn’t record what they planned to do on to their phones and computers. the police could retrieve it even after they delete it. the girls are really brave. they really know how to lie to the police. i’m impressed and they know how to pass themselves off as crazy.

perry stabbed the cat ’cause the cat was Glasgowman and he wanted her to kill mia. then, perry’s arm got too hot, so she stabbed it to cool it off. the police unleased this god-thing because they rescued them. perry tells the same story in court. the judge buys this ridiculous story (and, sadly, so does Carisi who argued that mia would never hurt her little sister…which is really weird ’cause he doesn’t know them) and Mia gets no time while Perry is sentenced to a mental facility. lots of criminals could learn from perry and easily get away with their crimes. in the elevator, there is scary music which probably means that the two girls will try to (and succeed) in getting rid of that zoe. perry’s mother is pissed at mia’s mother. no explanation. could the writers be saying that perry gets her nastiness from her? carisi watches mia pinky-swear zoe. since mia made eye contact first, could mia have been the mastermind?

how to avoid a similar situation: be nice, be safe, stay away from bitches who dont like you, and if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. zoe, get some self-respect.