My Useless “Internships” from “Nonprofits” and What I Learned from Them Indirectly

You may be wondering about why I would put quotation marks around the word internships. Well, it’s because these so-called internships would be illegal if they were run by for-profits or businesses as opposed to nonprofits and government agencies. Legal internships under a business(es) are supposed to benefit the internee, are not met to displace and/or replace actual workers, is supposed to be an academic experience akin to the ones you get in class (or are, at least suppose to), the employer may actually lose resources while training internees, and if you want to read the entire list of requirements, then simply wikipedia it or look up “legal definitions of internships for businesses.” The places where I interned for made more than many small businesses, yet were in no legal obligation to provide internships for people to learn from. They were too cheap to hire workers at minimum wage, so they put up misleading ads on for unpaid interns. Also, they weren’t doing anything to actually society because they sucked.

One of my internships was at a political campaign (fun fact: poli means many and ticks means bloodsuckers) where the so-called underdog raised nearly a million dollars and he lost the campaign. They ran it so badly that they were actually criticized by a local newspaper. I didn’t get an interview; I got a public interrogation. An overweight blonde guy sucked in his stomach and made fun of him for tutoring my severely autistic brother. He just goes around telling people that their political campaign is met to defeat the opponent who is the puppet of big business, big development, and big real estate. Yeah, that’s why he was elected three times, you idiot!

Their ad clearly stated that they needed interns who will be placed in highly skilled positions with a high amount of responsibilty. If they truly believed what they wrote, then they’re either high or they need to be put in the cuckoo house. All they had me do was to type in names of people who claimed they were supporting them, their phone numbers, and the names of people who collected this alleged info. Hello? We live in California and some of these area codes come from DC! Many were from areas that clearly were not local. Then, they kept condescendingly asking me if I could handle it. I only did it ’cause I wanted to scan. After that task, I scanned the numbers into categories of “not home” (translation didn’t bother pick up the phone), “not voting” (politely declining ’cause you’re crazy and calling their homes to tell them this ridiculous nonsense), “yes” (wait, seriously?), “no”(an honest response which is more than I can describe the people working there), and “wrong number” (don’t call back and intrude in our peace). Plus, their campaign manager was an obnoxious lazy jerk who just shouted out, “Can somebody help her? She’s barely scanning.” Dude, your background is that you used to work at a night club (stripping sometimes to make ends meet? what exactly did he even do? it’s a really expensive city to live in; one of the most expensive cities). Some people wrote weird things, so I didn’t know where to scan them. He also told me,”I’m never the one to ask.” Every time I saw him, he was just texting. Busy guy, right? The woman who put up the ad was illegally slandering their opponent, a more widely known politician. Does she realize that she could be arrested and charged? One of the guys there felt up my finger…my ring finger while he told me what to do. I suggested that he make his screen larger so he wouldn’t have to squint. His face was approx. four inches from the screen. “I don’t have to squint at anything!” he snapped angrily. What does this say about the guy who picked his team?

The other was at a so-called charity which was as ineffective as any. Their bottom line was to convince Americans to stop hating themselves and to care about each other, the world’s oppressed, and the fragile ecosystem in which we all share. They state that Americans only care about money, sex, status, and power which means using people to get ahead in the perpetual race to the top. Newsflash guys, you’re not even a real charity! Their second main ridiculous goal was to stop the right-wingers from “abusing” their God and/or religion(s) to justify their beliefs that global warming is not going to put much of the world under the sea, stop their support of trickle-down economics which harm the economically challenge, and to stop the American empires from opressing and/or killing the defenseless, good people worldwide. Noble goals, but obviously un-enforcable seeing as how their free speech is protected by the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America. It’d be far simpler and more logical to just explain how trickle-down economics harms people and to let voters vote against those who support it, teaching about fair trade which means supporting businesses which don’t oppress, teaching about micro-loans to help the Third World start their own small business esp for women and minorities who face discrimination and /or marginalization, and teaching people that 90%+ of scientists and 97% of published papers argue that global warming is truly devastating. Hopefully, even try to convince people to get companies to treat the Third World fairly. Finally, their third main goal is to stop the left from making fun of the Biblical God and/or the  Abrahamic religions. They think this drives people to vote against their economic best interests. Actually, most people are Republicans or Democrats because their family is, their church, their friends, and their genetics. seriously.…liberal-genegenetics-politics I do not agree with most Republican policies, but I respect those who disagree with me and believe that they are not voting for Republicans to hurt themselves or because they don’t care about poor people.

If you want to help for free, you can click on which gives .6 cups of food to animal shelters and there are several other links right next to it which offers  1.1 cups of food for the hungry, ect. You can do it once daily and put your e-mail down, so you can get daily reminders. There are plenty of fair trade items for sale and they are not nearly as expensive as you think, they have sales, and sometimes they even give free items away! is an excellent site that uses donates 10 grams of rice for every word you get correctly. Do it 5 times and then you donated a full bowl. It’s excellent if you want to practice for the SATs, get smarter to increase your odds of landing that awesome job, or just want to have some fun while you’re in the can. Heifer International offers you links so you can loan a little money for people to start their own business (say 60 dollars to a person who will return your money in set amount of time. perhaps 6 months? a little longer? there’s no interest guys.) Also, it’s pretty easy to volunteer. I just signed up for the Red Cross blood drive to help take care of donors. The limit is 110 lbs and I’m about 116 which means that I’m more likely to get side effects. My friend, Flora, was the president of the American Red Cross team at our school, and it was pretty easy to volunteer for the club. There were plenty of spaces open.

I won’t release their names because they might still have my personal info, which I surrendered in order to “intern” for them. They were worried about getting audited by the IRS, so they had me take out a whole file cabinet to re-arrange all the papers by year. They were so disorganized that there were papers from the 70s. They had me search people online by putting their names and the cities where they’re from. the executive director asked me if i could handle it several times. They told me that making brochures is too diffcult for me. We made those in grade schools and we summarized books instead of a website! Amazing huh? Their “nonprofit” was so poorly structured that the woman even told me that not to use social media…to search for the major donors  to manipulate them into donating more money. no surpise…plenty of people unsubscribed from them. The operations and audience development manager’s only experience was teaching the Torah (known as the Old Testament to Christians and I don’t know or care what it’s known as to Muslims). Honey, real operations managers make 150k and audience development managers make 78k. it can vary but operations and/or audience development managers have experience and skills that neither of the two women likely possess. They told me that “grassroots fundraising initiatives” part of their flyer just met selling their material to friends and family and trying to convince them to donate to their org. Then, I was supposed to learn how to make flyers, organize a concert, and help people renew subscriptions to their magazines. Oh, by organizing a concert, it just met to ask local clubs if they’ll let you use their club for free, asking musicians who are willing to perform for them, and printing out their names and times. This operations and audeince development manager is a butterface who probably makes minimum wage or quite possibly less. On my first day there, she put her ass on my hand twice, felt up my ass twice, and flexed her ass at me. by the way, she wasn’t wearing underwear. Oh and their organization earned 785 thousand (mainly through their magazine). Maybe they should also stop having useless meetings to try to increase youth memebership that last for 50 minutes, mention that intern lunches mean bringing your own, and  to remember to lock the bathroom door. why does there need to be a sign just for that?

There are some good unpaid internships out there. My cousin, Alex Wan, had one with Students First and it helped him build his skills which helped him get his job for the government to calculate pensions, ect. He enjoyed it. Shout out for all his help!

if I get an unpaid internship, I will make sure that they give me a clear orientation of what skills I’d learn and how they are important to which jobs out there, what kind of experience I’d get, and what kind of meetings we’d have (if any). I’d get a clear orientation before I accept or decline. I’d learn about the interesting assignments or challenging assignments that I’d be working on and know who’ll I’ll be working with and/or under. I’d expect a professional working environment where I can address any concerns. I’d understand if some nonprofits need me to do some clerical tasks for them because they lack resources to hire a temp, but it has to benefit me as well as them. If they are condescending, I’d run like the wind and I need to trust my gut more. That’s what they always teach in tv shows.

oh, and most unpaid internships aren’t worth it.

the national associaion of colleges and employers did years of studying college graduates. paid internships would help people get careers and higher paychecks while unpaid internships provide no real advantage and might even make one less employable. I read from another site called the atlantic weekly which stated that those wih paid internships tend to have similar gpas to those with unpaid ones, i’ve read that employers might prefer it if you got a real job during the hoidays to earn money, might wonder why your unpaid internships didn’t turn into a job, being a bartender for years demonstrates staying power, and learning computer skills like from codeacademy is more important than a series of simple tasks.